The Man of the House

This is a health alert for all men over the age of 50 that are in a relationship with a woman also in her fifties.. This will probably be the most important health column you have ever read. It could save your life! Literally. Since I am a woman in my fifties and speak from experience I feel it is necessary for me to point out any new medical trends that can cause bodily harm to any species of the human race. In this case males over 50 in long term relationships are at risk for extinction.

Remember the complaisance you were feeling a few years ago? Your beloved had successfully headed off menopause with her estrogen patch or pill and her moods had achieved an evenness that you had never experienced in all the years you had known her. No more premenstrual mood swings. No more weeping one second and homicidal behavior the next?

As you and your woman proceeded through your fifties there were a lot of changes to your male or female hormones. Your testosterone was rapidly declining but you still had your estrogen.(Yes, men do have estrogen!) Your wife had her estrogen pill and very little if any testosterone. There was a blending of the male/ female relationship which resulted in less fighting and fewer power struggles. Felt good didn’t it?

Now we come to 2002. A study was done that showed that HRT(hormone replacement therapy) could cause increase health risks for women. Millions of women were taken off their HRT by their concerned doctors. . Now remember you and your mate’s estrogen levels were about even before this . Now that she did not have her patch you had more estrogen than she did! Wait, it gets worse.

The drug companies needed to make up for some of this lost revenue . We are talking millions of dollars. They feverishly started doing new women studies. Now they have determined that TESTOSTERONE replacement patches can enhance women’s lives. It increases their libido. However it also can increase muscle mass, lower their voice , grow facial hair and make them more aggressive! Here is where it really gets worse for you men.. With this new patch in place she now has MORE testosterone than you do!

Remember she already was getting a bad attitude because her estrogen had been taken away. She wasn’t sleeping well. She was having hot flashes and mood swings.. Now she is on testosterone and has increasing muscle mass, a raging sex drive, a beard and a growling voice! All you have is estrogen and steadily decreasing testosterone.

Now I am not trying to say that a woman should or should not take the HRT options that are available. That issue has to be decided with her doctor’s guidance. I just felt it was time to alert the over 50 male that life as you know is about to change.

One day in the near future when you are sitting in your recliner watching the home shopping channel you will hear the front door slam and your beloved yell out in her clear bell like tones, “Honey! Come see the new patch the doctor ordered for me today!” I would like to offer a few words of advice. Grab your purse and get out of the way! The man of the house is home.

The Red Purse

In an earlier column I wrote about the the first time I was introduced to discrimination and learned the first real fact of life that being different set you apart from other people. The other day I was reading a newspaper and noticed two articles that at first glance seemed to have nothing in common but when I compared them to an incident where I learned the second fact of life I realized that they had everything in common. The first article wrote about a young man finding over three thousand dollars and turning it in to the proper authorities. The second article was about an estranged husband who shot and killed his wife.
The year I learned the second fact of life was 1955. My parents, two sisters and I lived in a little post WW2 housing development populated by small 2 bedroom 1 bath frame homes. I was halfway through my first year in school and still excited about all the new experiences that were occurring and could hardly wait each day to run home and share them with my mother. One afternoon I had something especially interesting to share. I had found a shiny red leatherette change purse under the monkey bars. There was no one around and there wasn’t any name inside. From that point on it became mine. Now all I had to do was sell this idea to my mother. After getting off the bus I breathlessly ran up to her while she was bent over this huge rose bush in our front yard. She was pruning all the dead limbs out in anticipation of spring.
As I held my hand out so she could inspect this beautiful object I felt the pride of ownership. What a find! It was my lucky day!

My mother carefully looked inside the purse as I stood by standing on first one foot and then the other impatiently waiting for her to come to same conclusion I had. The red change purse had no owner. As I blurted this out to her she looked at me and said,”It is true that there is a lot of information that you don’t have about this purse but you know the only thing necessary. I know I must have looked puzzled. I remember looking up at her and squinting against the afternoon glare and asked, “What do I know?”
She smiled and turned back to her rose bush saying,”It’s not yours.” The beautiful shiny red leatherette change purse was turned into the school lost and found department the next day. I mourned the loss.
As I grew older and continued to have life experiences and learn more of the facts of life I realized that this simple lesson could have many applications. I learned that you could only “own” things that you had bought , had earned or were given to you. I learned that you could not own people and sometime you had to let them walk away. Lately when I listened to the news or read the newspapers I had begun to worry that we were a nation of people that take ownership of places, objects or people that were not ours. If a loved one leaves us we react with the fierce possessive pride of ownership. Husbands killing their soon to be ex wives. She is not yours and she never was. If someone moves into our lane on the highway we experience road rage. People are killed every day on the streets when muggers take money they feel they have a right to take. However, after reading about the young man that returned the money I put down the paper sat back in my chair and sighed with relief. My mother would have been proud. He knew all he needed to know. It wasn’t his.

Grand parent duties.

I haven't been able to publish a post in the last few days. I have been shopping with my teenage grandaughter at this wonderful shopping mall in Grapevine Texas..Lots of stores but most of them are unable to keep the A/C working good enough for this Texas heat! I will publish another article in a few days. It is about ownership and a red purse...
Stay tuned and have a blessed week.
Boomerette Marg

Backseat Babes!

My mother always told me that one of the perks of growing older was being able to observe the generation that comes after yours. Since I am indeed older it has not escaped my notice that the parents of today have a very busy and complicated lifestyle. It has also not escaped my notice that there are a lot of children growing up in the back seat of the family vehicle. I firmly believe that part of my responsibility as a baby boomer grandmother is to assist my daughter and son in law with their parenting effort. Since I take this responsibility very seriously, I have furnished them with some behaviors they might look for from children that are spending too much time in the back seat. Frequently they have pointed out how helpful these behavior alerts have been to them so I thought I would share them with other parents.

If your children seem startled when you approach them face to face, they are spending too much time in the back seat. If at home your children refuse to sleep in anything other than an upright position, they are spending too much time in the back seat. If your toddler tells the car wash attendant to Armor All her car seat, she is definitely spending too much time in the back seat. If your child's first words were "Biggie Size It"..Yep, you guessed it..way too much back seat time. This last behavior is the most important and should put any parent on the alert. If your child's favorite lovie is the old pine scented cardboard tree that hung on your rearview mirror, get her out of the car NOW!

I hope the above behavior alerts are of some help to the overworked parents of today. I know that I speak for all grandparent's when I say thank you for taking care of this new generation. I don't know where you get your energy!

Warning: Surfing the net!

I was surfing the net yesterday to find some information on a medication...I was almost through reading the article only to find out it addressed veterinary medicine...I looked further and found articles for side effects from antidepressants used for DOGS! My first question is ,"What do they have to be depressed about?" My second question would have to be,"How can you tell when they are depressed?" Do the males quit hiking their leg on every available piece of furniture? Do the females refuse to mate during their cycle? I do have one suggestion for you folks that have nothing better to do than watch your dog for signs of depression...Get up off the couch..put a leash on the little fellow...and take him for a walk! Oh, I do have another suggestion...when you surfing the net be very careful and follow suggestions that were made for humans and not dogs. I am still trying to explain to my family why they found me out in the yard with a collar around my neck...chained to a stake...lying on my back...waiting for someone to come tickle my tummy and play with me!

Boomerette Thoughts!

COLORED WATER!
What is it about getting older that makes it easier to think about past experiences with such clarity? I was sitting on my porch swing this morning and thought about something that happened when I was six years old and I finally understood how that moment had forever altered the way I looked at the world and its people.

It was the summer of 1954 and I was visiting my grandmother who lived in a small East Texas town. That morning we heard from a neighbor that the new department store in town was having their grand opening that day. This was a very big deal in this small town. We heard it had air conditioning!

By 10 am we were standing in front of this large solid white building with a wall of gleaming windows that displayed new and colorful clothes for every age. I grabbed my grandmother’s hand and pulled her inside. I heard they were giving away balloons! Everywhere we looked there was shining white walls, gleaming chrome and sparkling porcelain. As my eyes darted from side to side trying to take in everything, I spotted two sparkling new chrome and porcelain water fountains attached to a wall. I jerked my hand from my grandmother’s grasp and ran toward them. When I got close enough I saw there was a sign hanging above the one on the left. I was just starting first grade that fall so it took me a second to read it. It read COLORED WATER. Wow, colored water! I couldn’t believe my luck. I hurriedly pushed the handle while I wondered what color the water would be. This large arc of fresh cool CLEAR water shot from the spout…I was just turning away to howl my disappointment when my grandmother jerked me away from the fountain. She leaned down to look me in the face and said,” You can’t drink from that fountain. It is for colored folk”. Colored folk?
My grandmother was a Christian woman. The wife of a Baptist minister, she was a kind and gentle women who was very uncomfortable having to tell her granddaughter the real “facts of life”. I was still a little confused as to why colored folk should have a specially labeled water fountain but as I listened to her a small seed was planted. Being different was not a good thing! Being different made you separate from other people.
That fall when I entered first grade and was given my first workbook this seed of knowledge sprouted into a sapling. I was given assignments where I was supposed to circle the object on the page that did not look like the others. As I grew the sapling was watered almost on a daily basis until it shaded my outlook on the world and its people. As I sat there that on my porch with the sun gently warming my face I thought about the saplings already growing in my beautiful grandchildren. I pray that with careful pruning and nurturing they will have a tree that shades all people.